5.0 Skill Level
Knows Ben Johns, has many many medals, post incessantly on PICKLEBALL FORUM about balls, rules, paddles and tournaments, wants pickleball channel on ESPN (cornhole wtf?), strategically hits to your backhand every shot, apologizes for hitting you very hard with ball at the NVZ because your paddle was not up, will gladly give you a lesson for $50, has 7 supercool pickleball outfits, drinks mysterious electrolyte concoction, is way younger than you, patronizes your terrible backhand, would love to play one more with you but has a dentist appointment and will see you at the clinic Saturday.
6.0 Skill Level
Shows up on the FORUM in foreign places playing pickleball, has savage tan and incredibly white teeth, can beat you in doubles as a singles player, sponsored but still broke, has a cool nickname, returns your ATP like it wasn’t nuthin’ bruh, dropped out of high school to go pro, walks on water, heals the pickleball lame, has a weighted paddle, stacks with partner in fast food line, has met you several times but still has zero idea of who you are, posts videos of 73 hit rallies, wears white unitard, dink...dink...dink then backhand rocket drive that hits you in the head and ricochets off your partner’s teeth. You’re in love, fanboy.
7.0 Skill Level
Communicates with partner telepathically, lectures frequently on the unified theory of pickleball, only plays for Bitcoin, went viral before Covid, appears in David Mitchell novel as pre-Colombia Incan pickleball god, Shroedinger’s cat is doubles partner, played on the moon, serve vaporizes, backhand contrails, body shot leaves you with a permanent tattoo. Holy damn.